Why me? Why does everything go wrong for me and not someone else? There's always something wrong, something that makes life stressful and difficult and tiring and makes it so hard to keep up that happy face that I like to have on. Why do these things have to happen to me?
I'm sick. I know that now. I've been fighting a sore throat all day. Why now? Why the week before midterms? Why just a little more than a week before I get to go home for fall break and relax for a little while?
And then there's my mouth. Why did the "bump" have to come back? Surgery was supposed to solve that problem! I went through all of the mental preparations to have a needle stuck in me and a section of my lip removed, only for it to fail. And now I am facing the fact that it will have to happen again. Why me?
I'm so tired. Being sick does not help. I can't sooth the burning itch in my throat. I can't ease the pain in my mouth. And, in the meantime, I have to read and read and read and read until I can't read anymore. And it's all so redundant and monotonous. I don't know how much longer I can keep all of this reading up before it will kill me. Or at least make me go blind. And I don't event think I'm retaining as much of it as a should.
I just wanted life to be good this semester, but already it is stressful. I cry more than I did when I was at home this summer. I want to cry now. I just want this year to be done and over with. I want school to be done and over with. I want to get away from all of the shit that follows me around here.
I want to be free.
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